I'm A Bitch

Most frequent thought during the Tonys: Make it stop!

Hugh Jackman is terrific--total charm, total class, total talent. Maybe not ideal as a host, where idiosyncratic performers usually work best, but entirely acceptable. But the tone of the show was unbearably condescending, from Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker's "geek" introduction to the lectures by B-level stars on how important Broadway really is. Most of the people watching know, and we can't stand this insipid prattle.

Especially unbearable: they edited "Rose's Turn" for the show, dropping a huge number of lines. You can't do one of the great show-stoppers of all time, a uniquely constructed piece in which every line is important, and skip half of it! If you do that song, you do the entire thing.

I will say that the numbers all looked excellent, particularly Movin' Out (which I'm much less angry about now that it's lost most of the big awards), Nine and Hairspray (which really is the best musical on Broadway as long as no one's talking). But it was totally classless of them to exclude Amour from the festivities other than that tiny video montage; this has to be a level playing field if the awards are going to look remotely legitimate.

The other highlight: CBS obviously had no idea what it was doing when it picked this year to increase its commitment to the awards, because this may have been the queerest and most sex-positive awards ceremony ever. Just about everyone thanked and/or kissed his lover, one or two called for legalized gay marriage, the winning play was a gay play, the winning musical starred a man in drag (who also won), and whoever couldn't do something gay himself tried to say something outrageous (particularly Michele Pawk's "men kissing, drag queens and children" and Brian Dennehy's comments about Eddie Izzard's cross-dressing). Wow. It's not exactly the same as spending an evening with the Pub Night crowd, but it was a little much for the family hour.

This evening was inconsistent as entertainment, and that's all they have going for them now. CBS, please, get out of this business and stop hurting us like this.