Living Out Loud

Last night's too-timely activity was a series of panel discussions at the Apple Store in SoHo--New York Bloggers, featuring the brighter local lights in the blogiverse.

A great time was had by all, of course--I'm not sure I was exactly the target audience of the "Publishers" panel, as I don't really understand what Nick and Jason (and Jake, for that matter) do other than be famous, but I was happy to hear the insights of Anil, Meg, Jen, Choire and others on questions of content, privacy, interface design and other such issues. (Kottke was announced for the technology panel and could be seen in the crowd, but did not actually speak; he was introduced as "the ghost of Jason Kottke." Curious, that.) Always nice to see Matt, Jeff and Sparky, and to finally meet Chris. Joan was there, too; I think she'd told me she would be but I was still surprised to see the familiar face of a non-blogger.

It was an exciting two hours, all told. And it came at a very good time for me. Earlier in the day, a friend wrote me something he clearly intended as a wake-up call, a letter telling me to either stop or severely curtail my blogging because employers are going to get the impression that I'm an alcoholic with emotional problems and not someone who can be trusted to work a regular job. (There's perhaps a case to be made for any of these points, but...no.)

I told him that (a) I've now had four interviews with people who either didn't care what I wrote or called me in because of it, (b) that I decidedly don't want a job where I have to tiptoe around the sensitive issues that constitute most of my personal life, and (c) that the cure sounds worse than the disease in that this is just about the only outlet I have to express any serious angst I experience. (Is this not better than having yet another drink with a friend, when I already have far too many of those?) He was unconvinced, citing the extensive background checks that he claims most employers do before they hire you (which is news to me, frankly) and some such nonsense.

So it was good to hear from some people who've faced down the same concerns, rejected them, and found themselves making money off of their previous sidelines (which, if an unusual turn of events, is not outside the realm of possibility anymore). Because it is not only possible to integrate an online life with a career, it's done rather frequently by some people I admire.

I don't want to have fear. I don't want other people telling me to shut up, other than the obvious points that not every fact is mine to share, and that not every opinion need be shared with thousands of my closest friends. I can live with discretion. I can not live with the mute button on. I made a deliberate decision to leave my real full name attached to my writings here because I consider them assets, not liabilities. (In fact, I need to consider them assets given what little else is on my résumé.) To disavow them after the fact would be, I think, an act of cowardice.

The performance space at the Apple Store was pretty much packed with people in their twenties and thirties, nearly all bloggers (there was a show of hands at one point). That was comforting. There are a lot of people out there who get it, who aren't going to flinch when confronted with the fact that they have a life outside their profession.