When You Get Caught Between The Moon And New York City
So, yeah. I think I'm leaving New York before too long. I'm a lazy fuck, of course, so "too long" probably means two or three years from now, but that's soon enough.
I love New York. New York does not love me back. New York does not love anyone--it only tolerates people, and only if they're young, beautiful, or rich. Preferably all three. Living here gets harder every year, as I get older and the baby face and twinky body fade into memory. It takes effort to go and do things that I've done many times before. It burns to spend so much on rent just to be able to live a convenient distance from work, family, and the things that interest me. I've dated or been rejected by half the guys in the city, and the remaining pool is less interested in me now than they might have been five years ago.
I have a lot of awesome friends whom I'll miss. You know what, though? I can meet people in Chicago, or Portland, or Boston, or DC, or wherever I decide to do my next stint. And I'll be meeting most of them for the first time. Every friendship I have here is more or less etched in stone, with little potential to become anything more or less than what it already is. How about a new life in which no one has much of an idea of who I am? Yes, I know I eventually will have to tell them--but that's not for a while yet, right? In the meantime I can learn from previous mistakes and get off on the right foot.
I can't leave myself behind altogether, but maybe I can get enough of a headstart that I like my new life by the time the old me arrives.
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what? You and Andy agree on something? the world has gotten stranger today, but it was good for him and if you're not getting what you want out of nyc, its time to break up with the used-up ho and move on to greener pastures. We'll always have the Tonys.
Preaching to the choir on this one, babe. You know how I loved New York, and you know how it drove me mad. When I left, everyone thought I was nuts, or giving up, and I worried that I had failed to make the most of my time there.
But I have to say, life is GOOD in Boston. Not as exciting, true, but also not nearly as stressful. And I find myself questioning my sanity much less often. And when I invite someone over to cook them dinner, or ask them to check on my cat while I'm out of town, they don't look at me like I have three heads. It's a community, it DOES love you back.
I don't regret the time I spent in New York, and I still miss it sometimes. But I'm beginning to believe the old adage more and more -- It's a nicer place to visit than to live.
If you come to Boston, I know plenty of lovely gay boys, and also lots of theatrical types, if that interests you.
I never thought New York much cared for me, and that's only been from occasional visits. But the realization that the entire country is an option has the potential to be even more exciting than the most (self-)important city in the world.
You? Leaving New York? I'll believe it when you're sitting behind the wheel of the packed U-Haul.
Well, "behind the wheel" ain't gonna happen, but the rest of it? I think so. Unless the cost of living starts coming down and someone manages to give the entire NYC gay community a successful attitude check.
Wow, a surprising admission, but I think I agree. A new city would be a great idea. I have no clue how Portland got on the list when San Francisco didn't (my Northern California bias notwithstanding, SF is a gem), but DC and Boston are great places too. My two years in DC were great (except I spent the whole time eating, hehe). It's far enough south to get good weather, but not quite truly stultifying like Georgia or Florida and it's very international.
I think I'd love to visit SF, but live there? It's more expensive than NYC, and less friendly to non-drivers. Besides, I don't think I'd do well in a temperate climate, much as I bitch about the nasty cold weather up here.
Of the choices mentioned, I can heartily endorse Chicago. It has everything a person could ask of a large city (theatres, museams, restaurants, amazing public transit, et al) while maintaining more of a small town feel with a noticably lower cost of living.
Plus, it's reletively close to New York for those times when you'd just want a little taste of home, with abundant and fairly cheap (and short) flights.
And the guys? Hot!
It's a little midwestern wonderland out there.