Get Out Of My Head!

I've tried writing this a few times and it has never come out right, but it needs to be said.

I don't like telling people about my life very much anymore.

Blogging (or "journaling," or whatever I do now that blogging is semi-passe) was great when not everybody did it, when not everybody knew you did it, and when Google didn't give instantaneous access to every schmuck you've ever met. I find myself second-guessing a lot. Not fun.

The strange thing is that I'm not even concerned about coworkers or whatever finding it and forming unflattering opinions of me--my work speaks for itself, thank you very much. No, what I find frustrating is that people actually read it and feel like it gives them access. When I post the lyrics to a song because I'm in a melancholy mood, why do people think it means that I want to talk about my feelings? I fucking hate talking about my feelings...at least, when it isn't on my terms. When it's done awkwardly, I might appreciate the gesture intellectually, but it stings like salt in a wound.

(There's also the fact that every so often I post something in the hopes that a certain person will see it, and instead someone I'd have preferred never see it is the one who responds. I could fix this by just switching outright to Livejournal and being careful about friends-locking, but I'm stubborn about such things, so I'm not doing that.)

It's perfectly natural to want to respond to things I say, so I don't know exactly what kind of reaction I can expect to this. All I can say is that it's what's kept me from posting.